My Holy F@*king S**t Weekend at The Arnold

My Holy F@*king S**t Weekend at The Arnold

March 05, 2017

Holy f**ing S**t Batman! I went to The Arnold Sports Festival and Murphy got a piece of Nicks A**!

I am no stranger to conventions or shows or any other sort of gatherings of sorts. I am very comfortable squaring away logistics and having a plan to attend them from A to Z.

Step one is how are you getting there:

Easy day, we are only 9 hours from Columbus Ohio so we will just drive the truck. I recently traded in my Toyota Tundra for a 2016 Chevy Silverado. Because I travel so much I wanted to have a newer vehicle with a warranty so I had no issues while I was on the road traveling (this will be ironic later).

Step Two is where you are going to stay:

No problem. I get on Airbnb and find a house to rent. I like to do it this way so that I have a kitchen to continue healthy eating when I'm on the road and typically it is actually cheaper.

March 2nd:  I found a place that in my budge and was available. It was only a few short blocks from the Arnold Sports Festival. The lady immediately hit me back and said "Hey, just wanted to let you know that this house is located in a less than desirable neighborhood." I asked Ali if she had a problem with that which I knew she would not. I mean I've stayed in some "less than desirable" places over the course of my life. No big deal! Let it roll! Boom! (This is when I should have known things were going to go sideways for this trip.) We are all set and ready to take Spartan Carton to the Arnold.

So after a 10 hour drive (because I have to pull over and pee every 1.5 hours) I pull in to the "less than desirable" neighborhood. I find the house and pull up in front. Ali stays in the car while I go check it out. I move my Glock 26 from the steering wheel holster to the appendix carry and exit the truck. I approach the front door and open the screen door to find the front door open and the living room trashed. I announce myself and asked if anyone was home. As soon as I did a dog about triple the size of my golden, Leo, that looked like he ate two other dogs and grew small mops all over his body came barreling down the stairs and towards the door. I quickly reached in and closed the door right before he got to me. I thought okay this is weird maybe they have the wrong address listed. So I made a tactical retreat and got back in the truck. I messaged the lady for the house and she said "OMG, I forgot that you guys were checking in, I'm going to have to cancel" Oh so perfect, now we are in Columbus on the busiest weekend of the year with no place to stay. Okay, well lets not just sit here and wait for something to happen. I drove right down the road and found a Mcdonald's so that I could go pee (again) and figure out the plan. While Ali is on I'm on trying to find a last minute place to stay. We are starving, tired, and just want to get some rest so we can get up early, train, and get to the show!

Almost as soon as I pull up to the McDonald's a car pulls up next to us. The woman in the passenger side is on her phone tweaking out. Her cigarette has a full length of ash on it like something you would see out from Cruela Deville from 100 Dalmatians. She was your typical junkie, itching and tweaking out. As soon as they pull up her male companion put the car in park and started to convulse in the driver seat. She just continued to focus on her ashy cigarette and her phone. So we moved the hell out and got to another spot in the middle of the parking lot to continue to un-fuck our situation.

Every time I would find a place on by the time I got the booking stage is said this room had been booked and they were full. This same thing happens four more times. We argued a bit but finally found a place by the airport that had a room. Totally worked out, was affordable and a nice place.

Okay.... Crisis adverted! Now we have been in the truck for 12 hours and are ready for some good food and some good sleep. Looking forward to getting to link up with our all of our friends from at the Arnold. Matt Vincent with HVIII Brands, Krissy Mae and Chloie Jonsson with Doughnuts & Deadlifts, Team Some Assembly Required, Doc Spartan, Disciples of Iron, and Rogue American. Not to mention I had 2000 Spartan Carton Discount cards printed off with ARNOLD20 printed on them for 20% off!




March 3rd: Hell yea! Lets kick this day in the dick and have some fun with our friends and make it rain with Spartan Carton Discount Codes. The whole day goes off with out a hitch. Just as planned, everything was great and got to meet some great people in the fitness industry. Wrapped day with the HVIII Brand boys and girls over some beers and off to some well deserved nap time.

March 4th: I woke with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning getting to do it all again. I rushed Ali to get ready so we could get out the door and back with the crew. I get in the truck and start it. It was 30 degrees that morning so I was letting the truck warm up a bit before we took off. As I was letting it warm up, it just dies on me. Stalls the F**k out! Now, let me tell you. This is a 2016 Chevy Z71 Midnight Edition. It does everything but makes coffee for you. (It actually might make you coffee, just haven't figured it out yet) I thought okay that was weird. So I crank it up and try again maybe it living in NC is just not use to this 30 degree weather. I know, I know, It would not matter but sitting in the driver seat I'm exploring all of the options. I think okay lets put this baby in drive. And take it around the block and get the engines moving. I put it in drive and pull out of the parking spot and it dies. Sigh.. Okay start it back up and put it in reverse. It clucks back in to the spot. No worries. Here is the plan. Ali, you are taking an uber to the show and continue to make it rain with Spartan Carton Promos. I'll get this towed to the dealer and we will be in tip top shape in no time. Called USAA and got a tow. It is pretty streamlined with them. The tow was there in 20 minutes and we were on our way to the dealership. When I show up I explain the deal and she looks at me and says yea we are pretty busy and probably won't be able to look at until Monday sometime.

Here comes the shit storm!!   Normally this would be understandable. However..... I'm in Columbus it's Saturday midday and by Sunday Night my ass is suppose to be in Virginia Beach to start the NCSA's Tactical Strength and Conditioning Practitioners course at Virginia High Performance. I try to explain to the lady that I don't live here only passing through. She looked at me like I was the most stupid person in the world, or she was thinking about the burrito she just had for lunch. She was not impressed or enthused about how awesome my life was and all the awesome things I get to do. Nor did she care that her lack of enthusiasm for getting my truck back on the road was interfering with the awesomeness of my life. She had hoped to look at it before they close at 4pm but was not hopefully. No worries, I figured it was not something bad and they will have it tuned up in no time. I get a loaner and beat feet to the Arnold to again, make it rain with Spartan Carton cards.

At 3:45 I called the lady and asked what was going on with the truck. She said there are no warnings lights and they don't know what is wrong. They are going to test the gas but if that comes back clean then they will have to call GM and ask for an adults help. Now I'm left with a situation on my hands. I have to be in VA beach on Monday Morning but my truck is not even going to be tested to Monday. No worries Improvise, adapt and overcome right?! Ali and I come up with a game plan. I will fly to VA Beach to make the course, she will stay behind and monitor the truck situation. Hopefully she can get it on the road Monday afternoon and her and Leo will burn rubber towards VA Beach and we will continue on with the plan of the day. So with 10 hours notice I book a one way ticket to Columbus Ohio and a rental car until she shows up.

March 5th: No issues. Ali is off to make it rain again and I'm off to VA Beach! Divide and concur! Almost no issues in my travel except.. Remember those 2000 Spartan Carton Cards with the promo code on the ARNOLD20 for 20% off. Yea those... The code had an error and was not working since the 2nd in the evening sometime.... This is where you would insert a picture of a face palm. Yes the code is now working...... "breathing heavily"

This Journey is far from over and I feel there are some more twist and turns that are going to take place. I can only hope that it is smooth sailing from here on out. The truck is an easy fix on Monday and Ali is cruising with the wind in her hair. I truly f**cking hope so!

That was my weekend. How was yours?

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